So Sunday I spent the day cutting grass to help my Dad out. We have 5 acres so its quite a day of quality time on the lawnmower. I don't know about you but some of my best, craziest, and deepest thoughts happen while driving, cutting grass, or in the shower (I once wrote a poem for an English class while driving to said class). So as I rounded the yard once again I got to thinking about my parents upcoming wedding anniversary and that they have been together for something like 45 years or so (I'm terrible at remembering that kind of stuff but I know its in the 40s) and I thought about my grandparents who celebrated 50+ years of marriage and it was like it hit me...Wow I most likely will never be able to celebrate a 50th wedding anniversary. #singlegirlstruggle It was a bit sad but I'm to the point that I'm almost kind-of come to terms with my singleness so it wasn't like earth shattering. It was just a very real realization that there are some things in my life that are considered by most apart of life and its milestones that I won't experience. At this point in my life I'm pretty sure that motherhood is something that I won't be taking part in and I'm ok with it now. So the two big ones, marriage and kids I don't really have any control over, well yes I could just go and marry any ol joe blow or just go ahead and get prego on my own, but yeah I'm going to pass on that and say that if God hasn't allowed it to happen then...well it just is what it is. Now before you go all, "People get married if they want to," "You have to put yourself out there!" I have, it hasn't happened so save it. I get told from one person that, "It will happen when your not expecting it!" And from another, "You have to put yourself out there make it happen if you want it to!" Could all you people get together and realize how dumb that sounds and that us single people don't want to hear it anymore!
Anyway, this post is not about that. Its about Celebrating what I can and making my own anniversaries. I thought about how there are things that I can't control and there are those that I can. I have always loved to Go! My mom said that I would try to go home with all the missionaries that
|Getting on the Longest cable car in South America. Also, Mom corrected the mix up that we went in '91!|
But after an amazing 2 weeks the things I truly remember was the wonder of having been some place I had never been, meeting people that where so different, learning about a new culture, and collecting exciting experiences that would forever be with me. I came back from that trip changed and as I grew older I knew that I would travel again. Another thing that trip produced was a promised to myself that I was going to go to Europe! I didn't know how it would happen but I knew it was something I just had to do.
Now during my teen years if you would have asked me what I was going to do when I grew up I without a doubt would have told you matter a factly that I was going to turn 18, get married, and be a stay at home Mom Bahahaha!!!!!! Now I will go on record and just go ahead and say it, I blame my parents for that misplaced but well meaning, very conventional and domesticated, AG pastors daughter, church girl who grew up with a stay at home Mom, kind of thinking. Well lets just say that didn't happen. And in some ways now looking back I'm kind-of glad it didn't or I would have missed out on a lot! But anyways I moved on from my plan A, to Plan B, then Plan C and finally ended up in school. Then Katrina happened and EVERYTHING changed. Now I don't want to talk about Katrina because well if you live in South Louisiana your just kind-of over it! Yep it was bad and it sucked but some good came from it...I realized that I didn't want to invest in things! Nope things could be gone in a few hours and all you have left is what you stuffed in your Nissan Sentra. Nope it was after Katrina that I decided to travel and invest in moments, memories, and experiences. I did what I had always told myself I would do, I went to Europe! After that I've been back multiple times, brought some of my students even, 2 months in Alaska, made an amazing trip to Chine with my Dad, spent 2 weeks with a friend in St. Martin, missions trip to El Salvador, Jamaica trip with the girls, two cruises with friends, scuba diving in Belize, and planning another trip to Europe with students and friends this coming June.
Now I know what your thinking...you started with grassing cutting then you went off chasing
One of my favorite quote is,
"I may have not gone where I intended, but I ended up just where I needed to be!"
Here's to promises to ourselves, not letting how we thought our lives should be keep us from enjoying how our lives ended up being, to celebrating all types of anniversaries, and making memories.
P.S. lol... In my parents defense on raising me to believe that domestic bliss was just an 18th Birthday away... I have to say that I had an amazing childhood and thought/think that how I grew up was just about the best way in the world a kid could grow up...wooden spoon and all. No I didn't get that life, and knowing that I could be missing out on something that could have been a fraction of what parents have does make me wonder that I'm missing out on something great. Oh well we play the hand we are dealt and c`est la vie!
P.S.S. Only regret was I didn't get a rock from Venezuela Ughh!!!! I must go back to S. Amer for a rock!! hehe