Sunday, January 16, 2011

A look at "The Five Love Languages"


   ok so I just sat down and in 2 1/2 hours read "The Five Love Languages." I had read some of it a long time ago but today I just couldn't put it down, this book was Awesome! It explained so much about myself and others. If you haven't read it, Read it!

   I found out so much about myself and why I react to certain things the way I do. So just to share with you a bit I had read some of the book a long time ago when our church read through it for our adult Sunday school. We all took the little questioner to identify our love language. But it had been so long and I was curious if mine had changed since I was very young when I had last looked at it. Well I have to tell you that I was not all surprised at my love language, its quality time.  I value and feel most loved when someone is giving me their time and I also value conversation. My second highest scoring love language, are words of affirmation. This all really started to bring to light some of the things that I do and why I do them. I thought about all of the little notes that I like to give people and how much a card or spoken appreciation for a job well done goes with me and I realized that I do those things because that is how I feel value. There's nothing better then a little hand written note card telling someone that you were thinking about them, or something as simple as a good morning text.

   My third highest score, and the one which I found just a bit surprising, was physical touch. Now those of you that know me know how I am about my personal space and I'm not a real touchy person but when I started to think about this it did make some sense. I'm not a touchy person but I started to think about how I am with others. The book explains that in most cases the way that you feel love, your love language, is in most cases the way that you respond to others when you want to show love. So someone who's love language is giving gifts will themselves give gifts because they know that when they get gifts they feel loved or appreciated. So I started to think about the people in my life and how I showed them that I loved them or that I cared, and even though I'm still not a huge all up in your personal space kind-of person I do often touch people in ways to convey appreciation, caring, or understanding. But overall my highest score was quality time and then words of affirmation. 

  Overall this was an awesome book and a great insight into what makes me me and also this information is so applicable to other relationships, not just romantic ones. I had also bought "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers" in the hopes that it would give me some insight into how my students feel loved. I was once told by a very wise man, who I'm pretty sure borrowed it from another wise man, that before you can really teach someone or lead someone they have to know you care, you have to earn the right to be heard. One of the biggest ways that we can earn the right to be heard is show them that we love them. To really do that we have to be able to speak the language of love, and know which of the love languages speaks to their heart louder than words. 

   I hope that this has encouraged you to get the book if you haven't read it, and if you have, to remind yourself to not only know the information but use it. Also, I really liked the way that the author talked about "falling into" and out of love, and how loving some or others is something that requires a conscious decision and work. Well just thought I would share.      -Till Tomorrow

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